Busy Mums: 5 Tips for MAKING CHANGE
Tell me... Do you have a goal? A Vision? An Aspiration? Dream or Wish...?
Maybe you haven't had chance to think about it lately?! Or maybe, it's sitting on the back-burner, waiting for a moment?! but when will that 'moment' be? What are you waiting for? For more childcare? Your kid to go to school? Your energy levels to come back? For you to grow 5 years older??
So many of the mums I work with tell me this too. They feel lost, lethargic, longing for something to reignite their spark ⚡.
They yearn for something 'more'... yet never seem to have the TIME, ENERGY or INCLINATION to do anything about it.
🤸♀️ They want to feel more inspired...
🤸♂️ They want to feel more fulfilled...
🤸♀️ More socially confident...
🤸♂️ Less cranky...
🤸♀️ Less resentful...
They have ambitions parked, sat in neutral, waiting for 'someday' to get going again. But, when will that 'someday' be?
Until that is... they have a re-frame. I do get it.
Even the small, micro-moments needed to make change can feel like mountains! I've been there too... Busy mum-life can feel so consuming sometimes, the hamster-wheel of never ending mum jobs can make everything else seem impossible.
But, it is possible. I promise you! and I do have some tips:
BUSY MUMS: TOP TIPS FOR MAKING CHANGE
1. Break It Down
(Sounds simple... try not to over complicate it 👇)
No-one's asking you to quit your job, create your dream business, run that marathon or get that new style confidence over night.
No-one expects you to find +++ hours extra a day or £££ extra to save. Break it down. Micro-changes add up to big change.
Often, what we want can actually be lots of little-things combined. Broken down, all of a sudden, they become easier to check-off the list.
2. Work It Backwards
Once broken down, set a long term goal: think, "where would you like to be in 5 years time?"
- What would life be like if you succeed?"
- What would this change mean for your family. What would it look like?
- How would it feel? What impact would it have?
- What would life be like? What would your your family be doing daily?
Instead of looking immediately at what needs to change today. Consider, what would life be like in 5 years? and if that's how life is to be in 5 years... then how would that be broken down? (say in 3 years?) Then do the same again... if in 3 years, half of that would look like 18 months... then 1 year... then the next 6 months. Then TODAY. Actually the change needed today might be very small. The first starting point is the blank paper, jotting out the plan!
You see. Once, you know the vision... the aim for 5 years... What needs to happen today? (This question can be much more manageable to answer).
Change is possible; sometimes we just need to break it down and work it backwards.
3. Change Perspective
The long game. Yes your kids are full on. Your mental load is running at 1000% capacity, there's 101 things to remember. You might not feel like you ever give anything your full attention, or do anything properly... but remember this... You are doing one thing.
👉 you're giving it your BEST shot... and that's all any of us can do.
Being a mum can be all-consuming.
All for the right reasons; Instinctively we need to do everything for our loved ones. YES... but one thing you might not have considered, is role-modeling, SELF CARE. (I know, self-care gets banded about a lot... so how about 'self respect'?) Or self appreciation? Role model self appreciation to your loved ones too. Think about your aspirations. (YOUR aspirations; You, You- not just Mum, You).
The little steps you take today, will change how your children see you tomorrow.
4. Get an Accountability Partner
Tell someone you would like to make a change.
It doesn't have to be a long drawn out process. Make it simple. Talk about what YOU want. It's okay to want more than just 'mum'. You are allowed to express desire.. to express change. And the best thing, tell your friends... and they'll feel okay expressing it too.
So. Get an accountability partner... your partner/husband.. your best friend... your coach... your mum...
It doesn't matter who... find them. Tell them what you want. Write it down.
...and make it happen.
5. Go Easy on Yourself
With every mum I work with, I start with self kindness.
The aspirations you might have had before having kids can change.... and that's okay.
The expectations you once held about yourself can differ now, and that's okay... you have a whole new part of you now... a whole new element to your persona and responsibilities to consider...
Go easy on yourself. you're doing the best you can, under the circumstances you're living in.
It takes time to make change as a mum... but it is possible.
What change would you like to make in life?
(This is exactly the sort of process I work through with Mums on a weekly basis. The changes they achieve are outstanding. I'd love you to have a try too. Helping women just like you get their spark back literally rocks my world! 🤸♀️ ...Have a go and let me know how you get on).
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I really hope this helps. Thanks for reading.
With very best wishes, Gemma x